Pros and Cons
By Steve Cooper
There are pros and cons to almost everything, So what are the pros and cons to premarital sex?
Let’s start with the pros side first...its fun. Now that we have that side covered, let’s look at the other end of the scale to see if we have anything to counter balance this hard hitting positive attribute.
We could go into all of the well know negatives, such as AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, which, along with unplanned pregnancy are all on a list that every teenager already knows. With the average teen’s, “It won’t happen to me” view of the world, for many these risks do not outweigh the one positive; so we will move on.
Weighing in on the abstinence side is God, with the pronouncement that
it is on His list of, “Thou Shalt Nots.” But why?
How can God just ignore the big positive fun factor? Teens might well argue that it was, in fact, God who made it fun.
I am now a grandfather of seventeen children, but at one time, I think around the time of the Neanderthals, I was a teenager. I think it was around the time of the Neanderthals because of the caveman feelings that swept over me every hour of every day.
Well, at seventeen I ended up giving my life to Christ in a very real way. I gave my life to Christ, but I had one little question and that was, “Why no premarital sex?” I was very new to the whole Christian world, so I thought, “We have birth control now, maybe God has updated His commandments to reflect technological advances.” In great desperation, I actually prayed about this possible loophole.
God knew I was an idiot and so He was fine with my ridiculous questions and answered me right where I was, which was in the middle of reading, “The Naked Ape” by Desmond Morris. It was a book on human evolution. It is interesting that even with its very different view of our origins, the book had a lot of insight. Can God use a book like this to teach one of His foolish children? Yes, God does whatever He wants to do. It is one of the perks for having created the universe.
Shortly after praying for a loophole, or at least a reason for God’s affinity towards premarital abstinence, I came to the section in “The Naked Ape” about human sexuality. The book went into the extremely long time it takes for humans to grow to maturity. You take a dog or a cat and after a few months the whole parent thing is over. But with humans it is quite different. It takes many years to get one’s children raised and thinking for themselves.
The Author suggested that human’s high level of sexuality was there to “pair bond” people so they would tend to stay together for this extended child rearing time.
He believed that humans were made to forestall that first sexual encounter until it was with a person they would join in a lasting relationship and that the woman’s hymen was made to encourage this decision.
While I think that we are the creation of God and not a cosmic accident, I do agree that this bonding is one reason that God forbids premarital sexuality. It is entirely true that the sexual encounter does bond a man and woman together.
It is an important bond that is difficult for people to escape. Those who ignore God’s laws in this area will find that there are “ghosts” that haunt their future marriage. The bonds that are created by sexual relations are much more difficult to break than the laws of God, which are here to protect us and guide us to happiness.
This was my first glimpse into the world from God’s perspective. It was a starting point, but a shallow one. The truth is that our existence is more a spiritual journey than it is physical. I have come to realize there are physical reasons for God’s commands, but many times there are much deeper truths. It is not just the functionality of having and raising children that compels us to be faithful.
There is a much deeper thing going on here. Having, over the years, come to know God in a very real way, I no longer believe that the love of a man and woman was built entirely around the physical needs of life on Earth or even for child rearing.
The love between a man and a woman was not an added act of pragmatism to make things on Earth work, any more than was the love between God and humanity. It was instead, the starting point around which everything else was built.
The truth is, God calls us to marriage and to giving our heart to only one, because God is a romantic who believes in true love.